STORY: IDENTITY DEATH

It was the summer of 2009; youth festival was being conducted at national level where students from different colleges participated in the events. Youth festivals are meant to be enjoyable, best part of college life.shreya is a very good mimicry artist and she is known for that almost every college is well aware of her talent, she participates in festival every year , now that was the last time she was going to participate as this was her final year. Now it was just a farewell from college life. kavita and shreya had been friends from last two years, from the beginning of the college days. No doubt they were good friends but kavita always tried to imitate her as she was very popular in college she was beautiful, talented, good natured so people loved her for what she was.

As usual this time even shreya was the winner of mimicry competition and nobody ever had doubts to that let it be imitating salman, saif or kareena she was excellent in her talent.  Marriage Proposals for shreya was just a daily story lot of guys were just her fans. On the other hand kavita too was a pretty girl but yes not as popular as shreya. After one year or so she started to get feelings that shreya always over shadowed her so nobody gave much attention to kavita. She was ok with this fact but slowly things started to change and she felt jealous inside. Imitating her was one thing kavita was doing from past few months so that she could also be noticed by people around her but things were just not going the way she wanted. She ignored all this and kept on living her life with hope that she would also be popular.

Kavita knew she has to spend more time with Shreya as both of them got placement in same company. It was an advertising company in Delhi itself, now competition is tougher when it comes to promotion part and incentives everyone wants to perform best to gain the maximum. Problem was again the same Shreya’s popularity, she was considered much talented, now this thing had started to get on her nervous. All she knew was she had to get rid of it but dint knew how?  After office time kavita went to her place and kavita gave a suggestion for going to a trip for few days as job has been hectic and she agreed to it to it. Next morning they started for Shimla, Shimla is near to Delhi and is also a good place to relax.

It was weekend so they only had to take only two days off from office, four days to relax was a good plan for both of them. By evening they reached Shimla . After long time they had such time together and both of them enjoyed the moment with full and soul. Days passed it was almost one week but none of them did not join the office nor did they informed the boss. Things seemed to be strange, phones were unreachable, no contact. No option was left except for waiting. Both the families were worried about their children. Finally after two weeks shreya was back but kavita was not accompanied by her. Her mom went to her place to ask “beta where is kavita?” she explained the matter “aunty she is no more her foot slipped from the hill and she died, I could not do anything to save her. Iam sorry.” All of a sudden there was mourning in the air everybody stood quiet without uttering a word. Her family was in state of shock.

Shreya joined her office again after a week. Everyone noticed a change in her. She never seemed to be her. Shreya was a changed girl and nobody knew the cause why? Things continued this way, as the time passed people started to forget the incident. But somewhere people had a question in their minds “why she seemed to be different?” two years passed and kavita had just become a memory. Shreya often visited her friend’s place.

Shreya decided to change the organization and she went to Gurgaon as she got a new job there. Things were just going fine but Shreya had started to remain quiet she hardly use to talk to anyone, remained in her own thoughts most of the time. Her family and boyfriend was really concerned about the matter but she never said anything claiming that everything is fine and they are not suppose to worry about anything. Shreya was going to get married to her love in next few months. Family was all busy is in shopping and getting everything ready for the occasion. Though she never took much of interest in any of the activities.

Only two weeks were left for the marriage. Everyone was excited; even kavita’s family was also invited as both of them were best friends. Shreya use to come late from the office, one day she just came back and went to her room without having any word with her family members. That was strange but they thought it might be work stress. It was late 2 in the night, and a sound grabbed everyone’s attention but what was it?

Family checked their daughter’s room and they found it. Now they knew why that sound. Shreya’s younger brother read a note which was laying on the bed it says “I want to be me, and this is not me. I never knew life can be so harsh. I was never shreya I could never be her. I tried all my life to be her but now when iam her I don’t want to. How can I get rid of this? Only answer I had was its not possible anymore. I became popular iam a known face but this is not me. You want to know who this is? This is kavita aunty I killed your daughter to be in her role. I wanted that love, fame everything that she had. I was wrong I don’t want this. But when I realized it it was too late, everything was gone too far and was not possible to bring it back. I killed kavita not shreya, she is still alive in me but all I see is “DEATH OF AN IDENTITY” I took two lives I don’t recognize who I was? Give my message to mom and dad that I love them and I miss being their daughter. doctors  changed my face but not my heart. Now I see what kavita had which shreya never had. I want to die as me. I lived as dead in front of my eyes all these years.i lack the courage to live anymore”

Both the families were not able to able to come out of the shock. But everybody knew nobody can love anyone more than themselves. Kavita just proved it right. Sometimes life can be challenging but its all yours.

STORY: NEVER WANTED THIS

As soon as we are born, every single person has planned something for us. So was the case with me, as iam no different from the rest of the world two eyes and one mouth. When I was little child I dint knew much about life or maybe what we call is decision, for me everything which comes should be accepted with open hands. I knew this well, but as I started to grow up and my senses to feel this world and people around me was much high as compared to what I was from as I small kid. Of course iam no exceptional case everyone in their life mature with their growing age.

At times I was made to think that maybe to be kid is so simple, when you just know the world well, only word that comes to your mind is “EVIL”. So moving further I was happy to go to the school which my parents chose for me. I never had any complain; from school to the dresses i wore they chose everything. Never had a chance to even make a choice nor did my family or people around me ever asked “ Metali is this you want, or maybe something else?” now all that was just a dream to think about that they would ask. I grew up this way, but I never felt any major reason to be sad or to think iam not in too good of a situation. Things just went on. For the first time in my life I felt bad, bad is a small word it was worse. Reason was my family never let me took arts as s subject as they wanted me to become a doctor. Doctor was the last profession I would want to go in, but as I said as soon as you are born everything is pre decided. We are still lucky that guy to be married is not decided with your birth.  Thing that I lacked was courage, I couldn’t say, I was too quiet too everything and accepted whatever came my way.

On the other hand my friend Nikhil had lot of courage. I knew him from quiet sometime now, he was my classmate since class 6^th. From those days he carried his life the way he wanted to, to be afraid of something was not his cup of tea. I always wished if I could be like him but I wasn’t.  There was no doubt that my family and close ones were not very fond of me spending time with Nikhil, just like typical Hindi movies they hated me. The moment I use to rebel about something and then goes the dialogue “all because of her stupid company, from day one all of us knew he is not a good guy.” I never got angry about it; it was rather too funny to handle at times. He was never welcomed to my place; I never even dared to call him up. I don’t want him dead with all sort of “amritvani” by my family.

Usual routine continued. I was doing boring MBBS now as my family wanted me to; every day I felt like I was being slaughtered and people around me holds that big butcher’s knife. Did I have any option, I don’t think so. Along with all this one more thing was just killing me inside, my friend Nikhil was in love with sofie, one of our batch mates, it was ok, but somewhere inside I knew I like him and would love to spend my life with him. Again I never had courage to say anything, though I knew I have been losing all my life because I was a coward.  Nikhil decided to marry his girlfriend and he did after completing MBBS and was a doctor in a hospital just like I was. After that we hardly had time for each other and we hardly use to meet each other. Still my family and friends were happy about this fact. I was married to vishu, he was an engineer in Delhi. I never liked his company a lot but accepting the truth he was my life partner now. All of us know when it comes arrange marriage nobody is much interested to know your choice. I kept on living with same pace, I felt like I was born to be slave a coward slave. I can’t say anything don’t wish for anything, I just do what iam expected to do.  One thing I was clear about was my children won’t be like me and I raised them in best possible way to make them the most bold who have enough will to face the world. Both Neha and Arun were bold. And they did everything in life what they wanted to. Iam happy I did one thing which made me happy though for my children but still there is a feeling of satisfaction that I did.

Lying on a hospital bed, iam 75 now I just close my eyes and I can picture everything from being a little kid, a school girl, college life, my love Nikhil, my marriage kids. I just have one line “everything could have been something different only if I had the courage to stand up for myself.” Never forget to try in life or else you will end up your life with every possible regret. I learned to fight for your life is not a bad choice cause when you know everyone would come and go and your soul is the only one who will live with you from the day of birth to death. All I know is “I NEVER WANTED THIS.” Maybe in next life I would be a better human as I have learned something in this life.

QUOTE

STORY:DIFFERENCE

Aruna has been my friend from childhood days, just like me her father was also serving the nation being in defense services. She was a pretty girl with a very polite nature; she is never among the people who would hurt someone. All she cared about all the time was, she should not be the cause of unhappiness for anyone from family to friends she cared about everyone. Not that she gained this kind of maturity as a grown up, fact is she has been like this from childhood days. This was the one major reason why everyone was so much in love with her, obviously she was magnificent. Every soul in the world is not born to be so. Some qualities are inbuilt and all of us were well aware of this fact.

Apart from being a nice human being what made her special was her jubilant nature. I still remember her dialogue “ shivali kamini tu hamesha kamini hi rahegi sudhar ja.” Of course she hardly called me with name all she said every time was “kamini”. We had lot of fun since school days. We have been together from school days, and then decided to take admission in same college. So knowing each other from such long time had made us very close to each other. Aruna had 2 younger brothers, only thing was they pretended to be much more elder than her and sophisticated. My father and her dad were posted in Kashmir and we lived in family quarters in Jammu. Going for movies, hanging out and doing all sort of masti was best part of our friendship. At times things use to turn ugly, you can understand moms, both of them use to get angry if we ever reached home late. We could well understand that’s what moms are all about.

Life could be so beautiful wt times, that’s what me and aruna use to feel about life. We were never among the negative souls.  From college days aruna use to have big time aashiq I mean admirer. Raj was like fan of her beauty, he did every possible thing to impress her. Not that our friend dint have crush on him, she always wanted raj to be her boyfriend, but it takes courage to do so, aruna was one meek girl so proposing a guy was not her cup of tea. Though me and aruna knew that raj will never refuse. Things continued this way for long time and finally in third year raj proposed aruna for marriage. Now marriage was a strange offer, but raj was a from rich business class family so career for a girl was never a important matter, infact it was like they don’t like girl working. I was of thought she should not take decision that quick. As we say when it comes to love people go blind. Both of decided to get married after finishing the college, still parents of raj were not very happy but they wanted their son to be happy so they accepted the proposal.

For whole one year raj and aruna spent maximum time in knowing each other well. According to aruna raj was the best guy and she loves to be with him. Maybe she was right ,in the core of my heart I had doubt but I think that was not the best time to say about such intuitions. After graduation she got married to him, I enjoyed a lot at their marriage. After marriage she use to call me often and told all the stories and things about her new life. With time I noticed some change, call reduced, and her enthusiasm too. I wondered  for days than I thought maybe she is busy with her life. So now I was pretty much use to it. Things went on like this for 1 year. Situation was going to change.

I knew something is wrong but I never wanted to be the disturbing element in her life. As I expected she was not in her normal tone, she told me how frustrated she has been, reason behind was something I never thought of.  As raj was from rich family they had habit of spending lot of money on every occasion let it be Diwali or Holi, but Aruna’s family could not afford that much of money for expensive gifts, for these reasons her family was looked down upon. For every small reason Aruna was made to feel small and her family to be inferior. This were the things that made her married life uncomfortable, not that she wanted to end this marriage, but it was not working very well. All these things happened very frequently. One day aruna went home and when she came back raj’s family asked “dint they give you any money or gifts.” She was shocked but that’s where the real difference was. Now Aruna realized her mistake.

She kept on thinking maybe she did something wrong. “I should I have never married this guy, even if they don’t want to hurt me their lifestyle hits effects my family.” Aruna told me this on phone and she was right. After all when people say you have to be very strong when you get married in family with triple the status which you have. But now it was not possible to change anything. So everything remained same one more year passed. But her jubilant nature was not the same, lost patience, worried. She ended up with depression. I tried to make her understand but she was too sensitive to get things in right manner. I thought with time things would be ok. Every second day she felt hurt and broken and she had kept on living in the same manner.

On Monday night raj came back from office and saw something which was almost impossible for him to believe. A cold dead body with suicide note next to it. This says “I could not take this insult anymore. I feel guilty every second for putting my family in such situation. They tried their level best but failed to match the standards. Iam sorry please forgive me. I loved you and I still do, but today I realized some things are above love and they will be. I LOVE YOU.” It was late night, so raj never moved took her body in his arms and sat still all night long. The fact she was dead was discovered in early hours of morning.  Nobody could believe their eyes, why even she did this? Questions remained unanswered and sadness prevails. People go memories stay.

Aruna will always stay in our heart. And her experience taught me what mistake I should not be committing. I feel I was wrong when i never made my friend understand that maybe this is not the best guy. Somewhere in my heart I knew this but failed to save a life. Every experience of life comes up with a new lesson. Again I say she was a pretty girl if only I could turn was into is………

FEATURE:WAKE ME UP

i wonder why every time we need someone to awake us, before  that we sleep sleep and we sleep. Than suddenly some hero comes up just like typical Hindi movie, i guess we people are still huge fan of Hindi movies.we need to learn every man needs to stand for himself. here i don't want to blame anyone but quoting  some recent matters like Anna revolution, or maybe medha patkar standing up for people.what i don't understand is why is that so, before particular problem is not a problem its just a normal issue but when it catches a headline than it becomes the biggest issue of the nation. and our wonderful media forgetting rest of the  news they just go with something which would lead to good TRP's.when a every single person starts keep a check on himself then automatically problem will start to resolve. funniest part is when all of a sudden patriotism comes in our soul at that moment, no matter what we do on rest of days. why we need to become angry young man for that point of time its a gradual process keep fighting, don't wait for someone.of course at college times its good to have a buddy around who daily awakes you but why let that continue your entire life. i was very surprised to know that so may people don't even know what they are fighting for, now this is called irony of the situation. we need to ask our self what we really want, not what a particular person is asking us to have. i believe in real life there is no hero nor any villain, don't make one evil and other sacred. this is called Hindi serials effect.

STORY:LIFE WITHOUT MONEY

College days are best years of life; of course none of us deny this fact. I think we apply most of our brains in thinking “man make some good plan want to have fun”. It won’t be wrong to say that’s called college life. My case was same I always use to remain keen about all the enjoyment activities, I wanted to explore the world and wanted to have fun in every possible way. Now it included everything from bunking classes, making trips to different places, at times pulling friend’s leg. All of us are very fond of such activities especially when it comes to college life. I still remember of one my close friend pawan always use to say “ yaar abi aish kar lo baad me to mazduri hi krni hai’” and he was right all we do rest of our life is a boring job, not that we want to but we don’t have any other option. Though everything seems so simple at times but it’s not, with 1 year passing I had started to realize that. But as we say boys love to enjoy I was of same category.

Most of my friends were from upper high class and I just belonged from a middle class family. I never had money to spend lavishly.  I knew what my situation was, but I suffered from a huge problem “what was that?” I couldn’t tell my friends that iam not as rich as you are and please don’t ask me to spend as much as you can. I dint knew I was wrong, afraid to show my reality to world, maybe wanted to save my ego, several question but I ignored them all and I continued living a fake life. I never card much of what iam doing it was just not a big deal for me. College years were the one when I spent maximum money, I still remember my dad use to get very angry on me but I pretended like iam not aware of financial situation. And I never wanted that people look down upon me so becoming thick skinned was must. When I recall those days sometimes they make me laugh sometimes I cry. One day my friends forced me to take them to my home to have my birthday party, and I never wanted them to see my little place where I live. I don’t have big house, cars, ac’s like them. I kept on thinking “man is there way I can escape from this?” I came up with an idea, I told them we can party in some good restaurant though I knew my pocket is going to be empty but again never had an option. So we went to good restaurant and the result of that was I had to spent rest of the month almost without money. 

Things kept on going this way for long almost two years but I had to accept the fact somewhere in my heart I felt guilty for what I was doing, I knew iam spending my fathers’ hard money on nothing. When it comes to ego we tend to forget the rest. Rohan and shivani often visited my place our dad was in same profession and we knew each other well. I hated one thing about both of them rohan always use to say “why you spend so much when you don’t have it, don’t you understand your situation lovish?” I just use to make fun of it and left the words by him unheard. Rohan and shivani were very truthful about themselves they never cared what people think of them they had friends who understood them for what they were. But I thought that’s makes them so unpopular and I never wanted to be among those. I cannot deny the fact but both of them had better grades then me.

After second years exams we dint have much to do so I planned a trip to meclodganj , this was one of my favorite place to hangout me and college friends. I love to enjoy there. Having a wine standing on hills is such a good experience, sometimes its hard to believe that how beautiful nature can be. I was having lot of fun out there, lot of music, drinks, pizza and awesome nature what else you can look for. While party was on a bad thing happened “gosh! I slipped in the bathroom” so now for coming days of the trip I had to sit in my room huh! As I couldn’t walk with injury in my feet. I thought my friends would  accompany me next day but sad part was nobody stayed in the room they all went to hangout, sitting in my room all alone I thought are they my friend for whom I do so much or spend money though I don’t have that much money. Kept on thinking and thinking. Three days went like this. Finally we had to go back home and first time I was happy to be back home.

Rohan and shivani came to meet me, as they never went for trip, We had lot of talk and fun. in my heart I realized these are my friends they would stand up by my side no matter what. Being yourself is the best thing you can have in you. That incident of my life taught me being fake won’t give you friends. When you are real, real would be your friend, you are unreal fake are your friends.” What a fool have been through all these years. But now I was a smart man and trust me you don’t have to do any efforts to be yourself but you need a big heart to be so, while not to be yourself takes lot of energy. Iam glad that little incident made me go on right track. Even today when I think of those days it makes me laugh at times for my stupidity.

Iam not afraid to be me anymore, I don’t fear I will lose friends cause I have life without money, my friends love me for what iam, so do i. To live life without caring about the rest of the world is best thing that can ever happen to you that is the moment when you start living life to the fullest. If I talk about today I have money and friends and a life worth living. All I learned is you can earn money at any point of time in life, but to be yourself takes a lot of courage.

QUESTION

Why you think eliminating corruption is such a huge problem?

STORY:LOG OF WOOD

Everyday of Shambu started with safeguarding the people, you must be thinking “safeguarding? “ yes as Shambhu had been the watchman of one of the locality of Uttarpardesh from pass twenty years, and everyone in the society remained tension free as they knew there can be no better watchman then he is. Now it was winter time and to work as watchman in winter days has been always like a nightmare, chilling nights.   Shambu was well aware of the fact that now starts the time when he would have to go to woods daily to get some small wooden pieces so that he can burn those to survive in biting cold nights. He never had enough money to buy some good clothes  or log of wood which can last for a month for  coldest month of January.   we the growing age things were becoming more difficult to survive in such weather. Anapara was a small town of U.P all his life was spent in this small town. He had always ben loyal to his duty. Honesty was one thing which he never left, no matter what the conditions where.  People often called Shambhu “shlaam shaab” as this was the way how he use to greet people.

Doing the duty of watchman at night time was never a easy job. Shambhu spent hours in woods looking for little wooden pieces which could be used at night. In the same way he was collecting pieces in the woods while he met one of his friend on the way Gopal, who was running a grocery shop, asked him “ what are you doing here”?  Shambhu replied you know winter nights and duty of watchman at night. Gopal “ya I understand that  why don’t you take a log of wood from me I have ample at home and I will give you one tomorrow just come to the shop tomorrow, you know with one log month would easily pass , and he went. Shambhu was happy hearing that much that atleast this winter is going to much comfortable then the rest. He reached back to locality as it was the time of duty in the evening. Temperature had fallen to 2 degree, to be outside at this time was killing.  But Shambhu knew he needs to this so that he can survive as he was only one to earn in the family. As night started falling he burnt pieces of wood, but they just lasted for two hours so, then somehow he spent rest the night with the hope that tomorrow things are going to change.

Next day shambhu went to shop in the afternoon as gopal had asked him to come over there and collect the log. As he went there Gopal was handling the customers after waiting for long time Gopal said “ oh iam sorry I forgot about wooden log can you come tomorrow “. He went back disappointed as he had no option other then going back .  he went to woods again and came back and followed the same routine. As the days were passing mercury was falling, so was the difficulty of shambhu increased.  But seeing the condition of the family he never had any other option except this tough duty. He was 55 now the age factor was one reason of his increasing problems. After days he gain decided to go to the shop again he greeted gopal and reminded me of the wooden log, gopal said yes I remember that he asked his servant to go home and bring one long and give that to shambhu. Hearing his master servant went home to get the wooden log, while he was about reach home, kamla wife of gopal called him saying “ I need a new dress urgently as I have to attend a marriage tomorrow  I need no excuse just get one now” Gopal sat thinking he called his servant “ don’t go to home now first you need to go to the market and bring a dress for Kamla” so he went there. Again Shambhu knew his hopes have shattered without saying anything he came back to his duty. Ihe was surprised to see people an be more cold then this weather, it was not that people of society where not aware of the problems faced by shambhu but nobody ever came for single help may be this the world we are living in surrounded by cold blooded people. He kept on doing his duty in such winter nights where it had become difficult to survive, days passed and he started to lose health by every passing day.

Shambhu felt very ill so he stopped going to duty no energy was left to go to duty. Condition of the home was worsening as there was no source of income it was difficult to even afford food of two time, then to buy medicine was just a dream. Shambhu and his wife were living alone his son had left him long back and was living in city, he was never willing to comeback not even to ask if his parents are alive or dead. Days were passing in misery. Ultimately he decided to go back and work coz sitting at home was not going to improve the situation and he knew that deep inside.  Old routine started again going to woods coming back and giving night duty. Things had started to turn ugly. Wait for one log of wood kept his hopes alive though he never got one yet. Still with hope in eyes he continued. Looking at this world without mercy.  One amazing thing about his character was that he never lost his smile he kept on meeting the world with the smile. May be this was smile that still made him survive, being strong at heart to face the challenges of the world. Where he knew things are never going to change but that never stopped him.

One night he was doing his duty as usual with whistle in his hand, trying to blow whistle though that energy in his voice was missing as it used to be. He completed the round and burned pieces of wood which as everyday lasted for 2 or 3 hours. He kept on sitting still. In the morning people saw that still he was there on same place sitting still.  But for hours nobody went closer to have a look, gopal wondered that why he has not seen shambhu today, he was the one who always had excuses to ignore the demand of the watchman still he thought why he dint come. Kept on thinking but irony was never bothered to see why not?  As  it was dawn now, one man of society noticed he is still there, he went closer and saw a numb body a body without soul. Yes shambhiu was no more this was all he could have faced and this winter swallowed him.  it came as shock for people how could that be possible when they only saw on his face was a sweet smile. Pain behind this smile killed him but world was blind to it.

At last his body was burnt into ashes and all the logs were provided by gopal.  Provided so many logs then why not that one log which could have kept in alive. This incident disturbed me I thought maybe world is yours when you are no more exist . 

story: lost in talent

                                                    Lost  in talent

It was the summer of 2010, mercury rising upto forty five degress May was  considred one of the hottest months in delhi.  Rahul alone in his room was practicing dance as he was all set to participate in under eighteen national dance competition which was to be held in delhi. All his room contained was a music system ,  water bottles as he required ample space to practice dance  this room was especially kept empty by his parents so that he can practice dance without any interference.  Dance was not new for him neither this was the first competition for him, he had won several prizes at school and state level.  Rahul had been practicing dance since he was five dancing has always been a passion for him. Love for dance was more than anything.  After all ten years of his life was given to dance. From Indian classical dance to mambo, jazz and salsa all forms were on his tips.

As years passed he saw increasing craze in eyes of parents for his success . Aarti mother of Rahul could never face any failure in his life. By every passing year pressure had been increasing on him. on Sunday afternoon call from Sumit to Rahul “ yaar chal aaj picnic plan karte hai “ sumit was his best friend and he liked spending most of his time with Sumit and Ashwin, three of them were classmates. Rahul was all ready for picnic on Sunday evening asking his mom I have plan for outing  in the eveing with my sumit and ashwin. Aarti shouted inbetween “ are you crazy or have you gone nuts totally how can you even think of such stupid plan when competition is about to take place in a month”  Rahul said I know and iam practicing hard for it. But a big no came from her side and she walked out.  Rahul was disappointed sat alone and got into deep thoughts, how his life has changed from fun to hectic routine his wishes are being suppressed relizing the fact that he was just fifteen. After a while he again started practicing as he thought nothing much is left , with thoughts in mind is this what he really wants.

Days passed and practice continued . mom and dad were always there for support and encourage him that he can be better than this, ignoring the fact thar are they really being supportive. Perhaps this was one question which was always running through Rahul’s mind .iam important to them or may be its dance. Rahul loved attending school because that was the only time where he could have fun these days. Sitting in play ground all the friends started discussing that how they are enjoying life. Ashwin talked about his recent trip to Shimla and Manali and showing photographs. At the same time other classmates were busy telling their stories of fun. Most of them spent evening playing. Rahul started noticing that his friends are enjoying much more then him he felt jealous inside. He never wanted to show people that how is being hurt by all this. He was a clever boy he started boosting about his dance forms and how he enjoys his dance from the core of his heart he added that you cant imagine that how much fun it is. But these explanation was a mere away to satisfy his ego he knew he breaking by every passing day. But the irony was most of the students was jealous of his success but he was unaware of this fact,

Coming back home he again got into deep thoughts , remembering old day, knock at the door of his room “ you fool open the door  don’t you have anything to do except dancing “ his big brother Arvind  who spent most of his time doing all sorts of masti ( leisure activites) other then this he loved irritating his younger  brother  Rahul. Though aarti and his husband considered arvind good for nothing, so nothing much was expected out him. this thing had become a major reason of rift between two brothers it had been years that they ever sat together and talked. Giving all the importance to rahul by his parents created a feeling of hatred in his mind for younger brother and parents. Such enviornmet had been created that  arvind became non existant in the family. Rahul was still lost in his own world that god save me all expectations from me again. Iam not god why iam meant to do everything. Don’t I have a thing called will. He said may be not their never was. From scoring well in school to dancing why only me why? This was one question that he kept on asking himself.

Only 15 days left for competition , dance practice continued so did the pressure from the parents. As the days passed rahul started noticing major changes in his life, he enjoyed watching shows like scrubs and how I met your mother instead of his favourite show so you think you can dance on axn. He was missing his outings with friends. Continous leatures from parents about dance  were getting on his nervous, I wonder if there exist another thing in my life except this stupid dance thought rahul. As time for competition was coming near, tension in the family increased, rahul would be the best or not . aarti was more afraid then anyone else in the family and of course such expressions iriated rahul all the more. Missing school for practicing became a regular business. It made rahul think again am I entertainment starved oh yes iam. Iam not doing anything except completing this duty. Problem was he never got a chance to share his thoughts. Parents never bothered to understand that how he was really feeling.  Talking to friends had become like a dream no hope.irony of the situation was rahul was thinking all this just before two days of competition. While everyone else from family to neighbours were exited . only thing people talked about was dance.Aarti loved boosting talking all about what rahul is capable of was her favourite job, though he never liked this habbit of his mom.

On the other hand arvind as ususal was busy with his pranks. Calling rahul pathetic  all the time. Aarti and her husband came from shopping brought all the necessary items that were required for the competition. Arvind was jealous that how his parents were spending thousands just for a competition. And of course making rahul feel guilty cause he knew if dint perform he is dead. Rahul asked himself its just a dance performance why it has been turned into a battle field as they say do or die. Arvind and rahul had been much close if this dance obsession wouldn’t have been there. In all this arvind shouted do I eben exist for you people. I don’t deserve ant attention. You people are unbelievable he said that much and walked out of the room.  As a matter of fact younger brother had sympathy towards elder brother as he knew he was not getting enough attention as much as he deserves. But this was nothing new in the family. It had become a daily drama.

Month had passed today was the completion that all where waiting from long time with mixed feeling of excitement and nervousness. Completion was to be held in rohini so family travelled in car to cover the distance between rohini and ashok vihar. Competition was to start at 11 A.M  in the morning. Stage was all set. Thousands peope gathered there. Stage was beautifully decorated with lights and flowers . ambience created was wonderful.  Everyone eager to perform participants waiting in the backstage. Big hall for audience. Everything seemed perfect. Aarti and family couldn’t control their emotions that how much this competition meant for them.and everyone knew obviously this it mattered a lot for every participant. The winner was goin to get the prize of ten lakh along with chance to learn from bollywood choreographer who would want to miss this opportunity. Rahul was all set to rock the show. Everything in place from costume, makeup, hairstyle . dance steps were well practiced, rahul had practiced every step thousand times so there was little chance of any mistakes.  Competition started and back to back amazing performances audience were enjoying the show to the fullest.  Participant number 15 rahul please come on stage so finally it was rahul’s chance to perform, but aarti in state of panic. She could not understand what has happened, rahul was nowhere there. She searched for him everywhere but he wasn’t there. Her dreams shattering . after 15 minutes of time message on aarti’s phone which says “ dance don’t make me happy anymore I loved dancing it was my hobby but there no happiness I see in this anymore you turned it into a curse iam sorry I cant do this anymore. Just go back home.” Aarti sat on floor crying feeling hurt and betrayed.

STORY: IN SEARCH OF HAPPINESS

                                      In search of happiness

Cold chilling winter nights which always irritated me as I never liked winters. Sitting in blanket all day long and doing nothing total waste of time. Most of my time was spent in my room sitting alone and listening to music, all my room contained was a bed, music system, and my dear laptop. Three things were enough for me. Helping mom in the household work was another task that I use to perform very often though it was followed by a big lecture called amritvani by mom, as she never liked the way I used to work. She had her own style of managing home etc. nothing new about it this was ususal and I was very use to it. Apart from this I kept on watching dad roaming from one room to another as he recently got retired from his job and got bored at home all day long. One sentence that he use to keep on repeating was iam getting bored suggest something. This was how my day use to pass at home other then this was college and assignments in fact I would say this was only left in my life. Life seemed to be stagnant. I always use to remain lost in my own world of thoughts out of 24 hours in a day I spent atleast ten in just thinking on thing or the other.

By every passing day I was seeing the changes in me, I was looking for happiness I wanted to do anything to be happy but sad part I wasn’t. had become a emotional fool , every little happening of life was disturbing me.  I kept on thinking why a particular thing happened. This routine continued over the years. Other then this I was enjoying my last year of graduation that was the best part. Sitting in canteen and having fun. I remember my teachers always kept on yelling at me why your assignments are never on time and if I submitted them on time they were not even worth looking at, but I never bothered about these little things to irritate teacher at times can be real fun. Lot of times I was even thowrn out of the class. And I use to come outside and say bach gye bakwaas lecture se. I spent most of time to think how can I escape this silly project, how boring they are.anshu and chris were my best friends from school days. They often came to my place and we use to have fun . we spent hours talikg to each other . Anshu always had one advice for me yaar ek boyfriend to bna le sheetal itna sa nai kar skti. We always had long discussion s on this but at the end useless. They always said why even we waste time telling you when we know its not going to happen.chris was very good guitar player me and anshu use to enjoy a lot while he use to play guitar. Summer of 69 was our best number. Best part was anshu and her nautanki after vodka shots that was use to be wonderful. Nothing could have been more funny then this.

Getting up in the morning for college has always been a huge task for me because of sleepless nights . night was spent in thinking and class was used for sleeping. I did this for three long years of college. All I was looking for was satisfaction. I felt sad at times that why iam not happy from my life what iam looking  for I even had no idea what I want. Days passed and I kept on following the same routine. Until I found a new friend . friend on facebook though my friends chris and anshu warned me thousands time not to trsut social networking sites. Sahil became very good friend of mine in little time, I was behaving like a typical teenager waiting for messages on facebook or chatting for hours online. It came as a surprise but I discovered that I was getting attracted towards him never felt happy like this ever before. Finally, after six months we shared our phone numbers chats through SMS had become a daily story. Sahil was also from delhi so was i. what a great feeling it was wow that I can also meet him anytime I want what else I could have asked for. Sahil’s father had expired when he was only six and he told me that how his mother raised three children  I always had sympathy for his family for the situation they had been in. ibm was the organization where sahil was working as a software engineer. At that point of time I had started working as a freelancer for a newspaper in delhi itself.

Intimacy between us was increasing with every passing day , he was the one with whom I wanted to spend my entire life with. But I never had the courage to tell him this fact and about my growing feelings for him. call from sahil “ hey! Can we meet please iam desperate to meet you say yes or no “. I thought wow! This was one moment I had been waiting for. Me and sahil made a plan to meet on Sunday  at India gate in the evening. Sahil wa right on time that impressed me all the more. Oh man!  He looked amazing in red T-shirt  and blue jeans I thought mast lag raha hai yaar. “ hello how are you and you look gorgeous “ said sahil, hmmmm! I was happy to hear that. We talked for hours discussing family and career etc but that was fun. Our first meeting was no doubt too good. Often we started talking on phone, long calls at night it was a wonderful feeling. We again met each other after a month but this time for a movie. DEV D I was waiting for this movie to release , excitement to watch movie and meet sahil was amazing. I remember that was the first time that sahil kissed me during that movie. That feeling was heavenly making me get more closer to him. first kiss of my life ohhh! I can never forget that moment. But it was just not about kiss what made that day special was marriage proposal from him. life couldn’t have been better then this.

Feeling of being on the top world  was too good, I felt there is happiness all around. Maybe this was what I was looking for in so many years. I finally found someone who makes me feel complete. I was helping mom in household then ever before , but that doesn’t mean I also started making projects noways.situation of assignments and grades was same as before. My graduation was also about to complete in next few months. That period of my life was  when I felt yes there is a level of satisfaction which was never there before. One moment I have been waiting for. Happiness from the core of my heart it felt great. One important thing that I relized was that “ how essential its to be happy ourself in order to make others happy. Earlier I was never successful in making others happy because from inside I was broken, but now I did that job pretty well. Things continued this way for a year my graduation was also over I was happy until I discovered that I was being cheated.

It was hard for me to believe that is it true? Somebody really did played with my emotions?  I came to knew this through shilpa , she was friend of sahil from past six years. Explaining me “ sahil don’t believe in love you are not his only girlfriend”. I was broke to hear this. I was so lost I dint even knew how I should I react to this situation never had the courage to call sahil and ask. With heavy heart I just sent a text, and of course as expected I never got the reply back. That was the last text to him. after that we never had any talk in life  again.  Problem was I wasn’t ready to except that fact I have been cheated. Life was again on same track same routine, spending most of  time in office or in my room. I had started working in a IT company as a content writer. Drinking was quite often, getting drunk and sleeping was my favourite as it gave me freedom from thoughts.  It was not I never tried to overcome but I fialed. I dis thousand to keep myself engaged but memories kept on haunting me. Peace of mind was missing somewhere. My friends were always their to support me and they did lot to keep me happy but all in vain. I laughed with friends spent quality time, but I knew I was dying inside. Anshu introduced me to one of her friends vivek. He has always been interested in me though I kept on ignoring. Days passed me anshu, chris palned a holiday to shimla, and yeds a was badly in need of a holiday. Even vivek accompanied us on the trip. Slowly he became my friend. He was not a bad guy as I earlier thought. Two words in which I could describe vivek was “decent man” he was working as a PRO in a advertising agency. We friends had fun in shimla, change after a long time. Coming back I again had to join office uff! I hate office, but don’t have lot of option so I joined office again coming back from shimla.

Two years passed I was stuck in same old routine and remained quite irritated all the time, my family hated me for this. In these years vivek had also became my good friend. Four of us often went for outings. But still I knew this not the happiness iam looking for. Iam still incomplete and broken. But I was use to it now. On Saturday night chris me and Anshu planned for disc, as I loved spending time there. Disc always gave me freedom from endless thoughts. There came a gentleman with red rose in hand saying “ I love you will you marry me I will do everything to make you happy’ “ I couldn’t believe my ears vivek said all this to me in front so many people. I liked him. and I thought that’s great iam happy. He is perfect.  My answer to this proposal “NO I CANT”. I came back home locked my room standing still with emptiness all around. I was broken. Question still remained unanswered “AM I HAPPY”?

short story: A FEAR

                                                                         A fear

Mayank was working as a employee of SBI bank and through years he followed same routine, getting up early in the morning going to the office and coming back at 5 in the evening. He never complained through all this years. He raised his three children shivani, naina and his son shiv on his own as his wife died five years after the marriage. But his children never had complains he has always been a perfect father. Naina was youngest of all and the only child now who was putting up with her father, shivani got married few years back and shiv was busy with his job in Bangalore as an software engineer as mayank was living in Delhi it was not possible for shiv to come home frequently he use to come home after four or five months for a week or so anyways MNC’s never give you more of holidays. So this was the typical routine the family was following from past few years.

He was now forty nine and all he did in his life was his job and raising children, life had been tough on him and never gave time for any enjoyment. But there was one thing that always kept on haunting mayank and that was he knew few years from now his youngest daughter will also leave for job or maybe she will get married. Truth could not be denied that after that he would have to live life all alone. These thoughts gave him sleepless nights most of the time, that what life will turn into he was still not ready to put up all alone. He knew that’s what life is all about. As he was busy in his life all these years he never got time to stay connected with friends or his family relatives so that was another fact about his life, not having anyone around to whom he can express what his heart feel or maybe to spend good quality time with. Leaving all these things he managed to stay happy and do his job to the best. He was very talented and was well aware of his work in office so people never had lot of complains against him. Everyone in life has something to be proud of to be happy about, so was the case with him he was happy how his children are well capable of surviving in the world and that made him pretty jubilant all the time. Sunday was always a fun day, as naina and mayank all day having fun from gardening to cooking. Every Sunday he cooked chicken as naina was fan of his cooking, and he always thought life can’t be better than this, he had it all what a man would want in life. But again how can we forget about we humans we live with fears all our life, mayank kept on living with a fear that one day he would be all alone.

Years passed things continued the same way one good happy family, till the day came when naina was getting married. Naina was in love with abhilash from college days and finally now they decided to get married as both of them had managed to get good jobs in Delhi itself in different hospitals as both of them were doctors.  Mayank had no reason to say no, as he knew he can’t find anything better than this. So this was one time when the entire family gathered together after a long time. Not that mayank was not aware of the fact that now comes the time when his fears come true. But at this point of time it was a moment of joy and happiness. Celebration continued for days finally naina got married to abhilash. Now it was same old routine from office to home mayank was fifty four now. In next few years he was going to retire from his job too, and he knew after that he won’t have much of things to do. Sitting at home and findings ways to spend time. He was well aware of the fact. But still he continued living life with full spirit. As shiv from his childhood days was a reserved type of person so he never use to talk lot with family members. Mayank used to receive his call once in a week which never lasted more than five minutes, asking his father that if everything is fine or not? and how he is that was all they talked about. Expecting more from shiv was useless everyone knew his nature and that was not his fault. Still mayank always remained silent never telling any of his children what he is going through. There was emptiness all around him. at times he cried for hours without any reason maybe his loneliness made him do so . mayank was very fond of having talk with his youngest daughter and he used to make several calls in a day. But slowly he realized his calls were not invited as they were before. With time naina got busy with profession and household and in-laws were never happy with such frequent calls. As the time passed by mayank learned he would have to maintain a distance. His emptiness increased. All his life was office to home.

On one fine Monday morning as mayank entered office he saw a new face which was not very familiar, but still he felt maybe he has seen her somewhere. Shivangi was the new employee in the office who got posted in this branch of SBI bank in Delhi. As a matter of fact mayank was not wrong his suspicion was right when he was introduced to her he discovered shivangi was her batch mate at the college time. he was glad to meet a old pal from college. After office time mayank invited her to his place for coffee and that was the rewind of old college days. Mayank discovered how happy he was feeling about the meeting. Finally he came to the question about her marriage and home she answered “ mayank I never got married maybe I never wanted to, you know I have been working as a social worker also never had time for home life.” At first he was surprised but he realized if she is happy with her life then why he should interfere.  With time they became very close friends and were comfortable sharing their lives with each other. After a long time mayank was with a friend and his feeling was beyond explanation.

He was fifty six already now and few years left for his service. Mayank had several thoughts in minds one day he couldn’t sleep thinking, if shivangi is such a close friend and so happy with him and he feels so glad to be with her “cant I be with her forever?” but mayank knew he was thinking out of the box. Sometimes you don’t know where things are going. All he knew was he wanting this to happen. And after a year finally he had the courage to say what he wanted. After work from office on Friday evening he invited shivangi home, and said “I love you will you marry me, you make me happy, the feeling to be with you is heavenly” mayank was afraid what would be the result he knew this statement has put his friendship on stake. Answer came as a surprise “yes I feel same for you I never thought love can be such a wonderful feeling” he was happy like anything with a sad feeling “ what would I say to my children would they ever accept my stupid thought?” shivangi tried to console him and said we will make them understand them they would understand your loneliness wouldn’t they? Mayank called all his three children and told about the decision.

Response was cold. Three of them couldn’t believe their ears for once. There was no doubt they were angry and were never ready to accept the fact what they heard. Mayank felt guilty for what he has done. He couldn’t sleep for nights thinking what he should do. Finally he made shivangi understand its not possible this society people would never accept us leave the things like they were before. She understood and they remained as friends. As months passed mayank discovered though he left his happiness for his children, they still don’t care enough for him to pay him attention they knew what mayank has been going through.

One day mayank sent a text message to all his children that he is leaving. It was never a joke he left home and married shivangi . after his retirement from bank both of them left delhi and went to gujrat for spending rest of their lives. Mayank kept waiting for his children to come back but all in vein they never did. That point of time he realized this is called life where every   human being is responsible for his action and this was day when he was no more afraid to live his life the way he wanted to.

ABOUT ME

Iam RAMNIK SANDHU student of journalism. i write short stories and like to spread awareness among people about various issues, this blog will be fulfilling this purpose. from my childhood days i had keen interest towards writing and i think this will provide me good platform to express my views and iam hoping you will like my stories too.